There’s this person I’m in love with
Happened unexpectedly
And I think they are perfect just for me
I will tell you all about them
And you will not be surprised
It’s a match that’s made in Heaven perfectly

Everyone needs someone
people often like to say
But I don’t need nobody ‘cept for me
You really don’t need no one
If you play your cards just right
Unless you need a colonoscopy

‘Cause if you need the scope
You need someone to drive you home
So perhaps in that one instance I’ll agree
But I prefer to call an Uber
Get back home to play Youtuber
‘Cause I think that this will work just fine for me

So its me myself and I
I’m just the perfect company
‘Cause I don’t need nobody else but me
You should try it out sometime
It’s really not so bad at all
To your surprise you just might find that you agree

I’ve learned to cook a hot dog
How to turn on the TV
What more is there you need to know than this?
I even like the quiet
And I eat just what I want
So I don’t think there is anything I miss

I got this tool to scratch my back
I can live just like a slob
And the thermostat is set just right for me
I don’t have to wash my clothes
Or to even blow my nose
I can be the lazy fool I want to be

Relationships are much hard work
It’s really not for me
Its just too much time and effort can’t you see
So if you need a companion
To go exploring the Grand Canyon
Happy Trails but it probably isn’t me

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