Horseshoes and hand grenades someone once said
Can screw up your day if they land on your head
Close only counts if it happens to be
Horseshoes and hand grenades landin’ on me

I always get close but I’m never quite there
That’s probably why I ain’t goin nowhere
I get a flat tire but haven’t a spare
That’s my life story I’m plum out of air

Horseshoes and hand grenades
Oh woe is me
Close only counts if it happens to be
Horseshoes and hand grenades
That’s what the say
Don’t pay it no mind just keep goin’ my way

If you happen to see one that’s going astray
Ask yourself are you’re feelin’ lucky today?”
‘Cause its still a problem if they just get close
If your standin’ downwind it could be adios

Horseshoes and hand grenades
Always such fun
Duck when they’re comin’ how fast can you run?
Horseshoes and hand grenades
Name of the game
Keep your head down or find someone to blame

Horseshoes and hand grenades
Which will it be?
Close never counts when it happens to me
Got me a shave a beautiful do
Close also counts in razor blades too